Divorce has become a more acceptable alternative to marriages that tend to not work out in case of personal matters that start negatively affecting the individuals in the marriage. Several issues that did not come out easily of the four walls of a household, which included marital rape, physical abuse, violence, mental abuse, difference in opinions and various others. These matters are being openly talked about and the victims are seeking separation from the aggressive partners in the marriage.

Unhealthy marriages clouds people’s thoughts, potential and their capabilities and once they are able to come out of it, they get a second chance to life and start afresh. The major consequences are dealt by the child in the whole process. It is essential for the child to be provided and brought up in a healthy environment and it is the responsibility of both the parents equally. When the marriages do not work out, the decision of how the child will be taken care of should also be a very crucial decision. Usually, these matters regarding the separation of the parental figures affect the child and in case of negligence, it scars the child so deep that it remains with them throughout their whole life.

The impacts of divorce on the child:

The child who undergoes the separation of their parents has difficulty in various social and personal fields of concern. If not handled well after parting ways, the absence of parents can cause the child to be socially unavailable, shut their emotions off and cause them to lead an unhealthy life and various others.

Academic depletion/improvement

As a result of all the mishap that takes place during this phase, the child has difficulty in focusing on their academics and career. They also get dragged into the conflicts of the parents and pay lesser attention educationally. This leads to the depletion of their interest in the field of their career and as they grow into adults, their income and way of living upon that is widely hampered.
Many of the children were seen to be using this phase fruitfully by dedicating their times into what makes them feel better. Having themselves occupied with things enables them to not pay attention to the unhealthy environment of the household and save themselves from confronting the situations.

Sense of guilt

The children who have seen their parents fight and quarrel numerous times, start to feel burdening. This is primarily a resultant of upbringing in unhealthy environment and the child starts to blame themselves for the purpose of their parent’s separation. They start to feel that it is their responsibility to fix the issues between the parents and as a result of unable to do so, the parting is occurring.

Depression and other mood related issues

The child who is a part of the whole separation phase, sometimes when they are of a very young age, they do not have any clue of all the occurrences in the household and they are not made aware of any of the fore coming steps. Parents tend to hide the matter as much with the hope to protect their wards from the trauma that would be caused. The child, when gets aware of the situation, is extremely affected which might as well cause them to gradually isolate themselves and be limited to the boundaries they build around them. Depression and other mood disorders are usually seen in children with a history of parental separation and it becomes difficult for them to cope with their diurnal lives.

Difficulty in their own relationships

We mainly idolize our parental figure when it comes to implementing belief in our own relationships. This has been observed that a child who has seen their parents suffer and end up being distant, usually have trouble contributing to their own relationships, as they cannot fully have faith in their partners or completely rely upon them.

Suicidal thoughts

A very crucial part of this process is that when the child falsely starts blaming themselves for the whole journey, they start to reconsider surviving as a result of guilt, shame and the feeling of being a burden. This might as well lead them to have suicidal thoughts. It is essential to immediately consult help the moment a person feels helpless.

Substance/drug use

After the parents are separated and if there is no one to really take care of the children, they are not given the proper guidance to make use of things. These results the children to be involved in the abuse of drugs and other substances, which would further cause various other psychological disorders.
As a parent of child, especially who has been through something as serious as the divorce of their guardians, it is essential that they provide the child the necessary support. They should be made aware of the fact that none of this is the child’s fault to begin with. The importance of a parent in a child’s life is unmatched. They should be told that the separation has nothing that they have done has caused their parents to part ways. Together or not, it is the responsibility of both the parents to be available for the child. Giving them their space to process the information and understand the reasons that led to it as the child will be undergoing a massive shift in their daily routine of living. It is normal they would require adjusting this change.

Divorce can be due to many reasons but the parents are supposed to keep in mind to not drag their child/children in this matter of concern. It would only end up ruining their childhood as well as impacting their adulthood vastly. A lot of our decision making capabilities develop from observing our parents closely. Thus, the way a parent approach us regarding a whole situation, also shapes our way of dealing with that similar type of situation in the future. Children are very sensitive and specifically when it comes to their parents. They find comfort and solace in their parents and therefore, the information of their parents not staying together furthermore would make them feel that their place of comfort is being snatched away. Amongst all the negative impact that divorce has on the child, there are several positive effects that influences the child and their growth.

Not repeating their parent’s mistake

When the parents are separated, sometimes it gives the child clarity of the mistakes that the parents have been doing. This enables them to not repeat the similar mistakes in their adulthood and especially when they are in a relationship. This is a positive outcome only when the child is explained and taken care of in a healthy manner by the parents, post the divorce.

Improved grades

When the children are taken good care of, after the separation, they are well able to focus on their academics and be aware that they are required to be independent in life. This also promotes their interest in building a career goal and they start to work towards it.

Improved mental health

After the separation of the parents, it gets easier for the child to be attentive towards their mental health. It provides them the space and time to invest on their mental health and it has been observed that after the breaking up of unhealthy parents, the child gradually gets better in terms of their mental and physical health.
However much we try to simplify or explain the child about the whole concept and let alone the child be acting understanding and accepting to the concerned matter, divorce is a difficult thing to cope with, especially for the children of the separating parents. It is absolutely valid that when things stop working out between individuals and they conclude to part ways. At the same time, it is somewhere unfair for the children.

Frequently asked questions (FAQs)

• What happens when parents are divorced?
  Divorce of the parents lead to the child’s behavioural issues as well as inclination towards delinquency, in case of the child is not well taken care of. This also has larger impacts on their adulthood as these deep-rooted problems scar them for lifelong.
• Are divorced parents still a family?
  Yes, divorced parents can still be a family by their own choice. This is a very healthy alternative for the children as they would feel the joy of spending time with their parents.
• How to deal with divorcing parents?
  It is essential to communicate with your parents and especially about what you are feeling about the whole change. To communicate is to let them know about your feelings. There is no requirement of being scared or ashamed to talk about your feelings.